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Sunday, March 8, 2009

Exhaustion.




I'm floating in an ocean of chaos, trying to keep my head above water. It feels like there are walls crumbling, but as they crumble they pause in mid air and begin to rebuild, only to crumble again, a vicious cycle. The notice has come to move. I'd like to say more, but involves family and the dreaded "F" word that many people are experiencing across the country. Strangely though, that is not creating stress in my life. I feel as if it's a massive tide coming in, and I'm just floating along allowing it to take me where it goes. The day job is the real stress. There is too much BS there and I'm exhausted with them playing house. I'm dealing with a health issue and I feel as if I'm tied to two horses, one is the day job and the other is the doctor I'm dealing with. They both have their own agendas, fighting their own battles, and I'm stuck in the middle being torn apart. The doctor giving me BS only to create more BS where I work. I don't need that. It's wearing me thin. I'd like to think that both of their intentions are good, but the outcome is destructive.

So, for the first time in quite a few weeks, I'm off to create. I need it. It's the only thing that keeps me level and lets my mind rest. I haven't had much chance to go to the studio due to the winter hours I've had at work (can't wait to go back to a normal schedule so I can have more than just a Saturday and Sunday to exist). But, as I promised, here are some photos of the studio, taken on an overcast evening, so please ignore the rough quality. It's going to take a while to get all my studio things moved into the space, but just because everything isn't there, doesn't mean I can't create.

Oh, and I've finally gotten back to everyone's comments from the past few posts. Sometimes it takes me a while, but I appreciate and read everyone of them.

4 comments:

  1. (drooling)
    look at those floors! i wonder what kind of wood it is? and the blue wall and big windows....ahhh! it's wonderful.

    but i'm sorry that other things are in chaos, and the "f" word...combined with health issues...combined with stressful work...that doesn't sound good. "all things pass" they say, but when you're right in the middle of the bs it's hard to believe.

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  2. Great space. Hang in there, I'm pulling for you!

    Brad

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  3. What a fantastic space you have! Looks like a great place to create. Really big too. I bet you could get a good soccer game going in there.

    I'll send some positive thoughts your way knowing things will work out for you. If there is anything I can do to help out, just ask. =)

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  4. I'm so sorry you have been going through so many trials lately.
    It sounds like things have been really tough. I am sending you positive thoughts and wishes from New Zealand!

    That is the most beautiful art space. I am jealous! Great for the soul!!! I hope it is soothing and healing :)

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